


still, stay stay stay with me

by thrice



Series: belated ficmas 2017 [5]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Introspection, M/M, Talks of the past, tatinof usa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2019-02-12 18:44:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12965985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thrice/pseuds/thrice
Summary: “You grew up,” Phil says, lips tilting into his own smile.(Or some sap about the past and the before present.)





	still, stay stay stay with me

3-12-12

Sometimes, there are days when Dan doesn't know what else to do than to leave. To leave this world that they were just so close to starting together, to leave it all, leave _him_ — to shut off the black hole that was sucking out everything that was once held precious and close to him, now shattered. To try and try and end up destroying the outer layers of something he thought was _already_ destroyed.

Other days, silence is key. Looking out the window of the streetcar; watching time slow down and strangers slipping their hands through each other’s— blissful and utterly _content_ , it's all he can do for the moment.

___

5-4-16

“What are you thinking about?” Phil asks him, tilting his head. They're passing right through downtown, the city lights emitting something wonderful in the blanket of stars and velvet sky—the streets practically bursting with energy on every block as people walk on the sidewalks and back indoors, taking pictures and enjoying themselves in each other’s company.

Dan takes a sharp breath. “It's nothing,” he tells him; turning over to him with a blank expression.

Of course it's more than nothing. It almost _always_ is. He inhales once more, this time a much more deeper and enveloping breath, his chest rising and falling; chocolate eyes closing a bit before opening back up to still see Times Square.

He's thinking about the days when _forever_ seemed like an option they were both willing to take, and then weren't; suddenly. Four years turned their thoughts outwards, spilling around for the cruel, cruel world to see—although that was merely the tip of the iceberg, more illustrated to be a more animated scene—overlooking the tip of of a cliff, signifying impending doom.

There was always a little storm cloud above Dan’s head, black and menacing; growing bigger and smaller as the days passed, but it depended. At first it seemed like it would grow bigger and bigger until its sharp teeth tore him to shreds, but then eventually; it just _stops_. Just like that, and just so.

It learns—(and he too) that they can both work through it. And they did. Look at them now look at them _go_ . Denying ever becoming a duo and cutting the red string short, and now tied together more than ever before with a book and a _tour,_ always referenced to as [        ] from Dan and Phil.

 

Now they're traveling the world as one.

“Doesn't seem like nothing,” says Phil.

“It's not.” Dan says, watching the color of Phil’s eyes swirl around. “Anything. At all. I just remembered something that happened a while ago.”

Phil bites the inside of his cheek. “Which was?”

“Just- something.” Dan says. He makes an effort to smile a bit at him. “Nothing too important.”

“I'm still certain it was something important.” He’s certainly stubborn, that Phil.

“Which it wasn't.” Dan sighs at this. “I mean, okay. It was. From like, four years ago. I was just thinking of then, and where we are now. Where we ended up.”

Phil nods with understanding, but his mind generates his own memories, falling one by one and coming to life. Thinking of then, and where we are now— where  _ we _ ended up. His heart is suddenly filled with more love and gratitude than at any other given time. That  _ boy _ . Always so. So. 

“You grew up,” Phil says, lips tilting into his own smile, because it's true. Ask anyone. And he watched everything; all the stumbles and falls and kisses in between—the trembling child into the articulate, beautiful young man that he has the very privilege to gaze upon, everyday.

**Author's Note:**

> SOSOSOSO SORRY ABOUT MISSING FICMAS TWICE IN A ROW i am what they call a rookie at this job-that's-really-not-a-job. stick with me kids
> 
> come talk to me on tumblr at thrjce and on twitter at knightdaniei :D


End file.
